A Light That Never Goes Out
by Sharona1981
Summary: Castiel returns-but how will Dean react? Better summary inside. Oneshot.


**A Light That Never Goes Out **

_Oneshot. Cas' return, as I'd like it to be. I'm the eternal optimist, and I'm thinking God might forgive Cas one last time (in a way), even though Cas pretended to be him. The title is taken from a song by the Smiths, lyrics are from 'Shake It Out' by Florence and the Machine. Destiel friendship. Castiel's POV. Bobby isn't dead, and Sam is just fine (though neither of them feature) You can read this as a sequel to 'The Most Profound Bond' or as a standalone. Up to you. As always, I own nothing_.

_**...I am done with my graceless heart, **_

_**So tonight, I'm gonna cut it out and then restart, **_

_**'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn-**_

_**It's always darkest before the dawn...' **_

Castiel has fallen before; he remembers only too well the sensations the experience entails, the helpless feeling of being cast out.

So he knows he isn't falling. Not this time.

He's died quite a few times of late too, so he knows this isn't death, either. Which surprises him, if he's honest. After joining forces with Crowley, after sucking Purgatory dry, after committing the most heinous blasphemy by declaring himself God, after being possessed by the Leviathan and slowly ripped apart...after betraying the only true friends he has ever known, Castiel feels his death would be more than justified.

He sees nothing but blinding light, and even when he raises his hand to try to shield his eyes, the light does not dim in the slightest. He feels the first stirrings of fear-he, who once felt nothing beyond a sense of duty and obligation to his Father, but he has the Winchesters to thank for locating his emotions, even Bobby.

But particularly Dean.

_"I feel...regret. I want to atone...before I die."_

He has committed so many wrongs against them. And Castiel wishes so much that he could make things right, that he could fix everything...but he can't, because he feels certain that he will never see Dean or Sam or Bobby ever again, that wherever he is, a great and terrible punishment awaits him.

But isn't that what he deserves?

"Castiel."

And now true terror grips him, because he knows that voice, would recognise it anywhere.

"Father."

His voice trembling, Castiel drops to his knees, head bowed, realising now what this great light means.

God is back. His father has returned.

"You have wronged me, Castiel." He feels tears prick at his eyelids, and since when has he been able to cry, or even felt the urge to?

He is more human than angel; he knows this now.

"Forgive me, Father." He says quietly, humbly. "But you left, and I..."

"I did not _leave_, child." God retorts. "You were determined to exercise free will, so I allowed you to, not realizing the lengths you would go to. The bargain you made with Crowley, killing your brothers, taking Purgatory's souls into yourself...telling my children on Earth that _you_ were God. I have grieved for your sins, Castiel. And when you were taken over by the Leviathan, once they made their escape from your vessel, I brought you here, back to Heaven, so I could pass my judgement."

"I deserve punishment, Father." Castiel knows this to be the truth. "Whatever you decide, I will accept it as my fate."

There is nothing for several moments, and then Castiel feels a hand on his shoulder, and he looks up at his Father's true form and weeps openly at the kindness there. "You were a great warrior." God tells him. "And you served me well. But I believe Dean and Samuel Winchester need you more than I ever have. They taught you to be human, Castiel. So, a human you must be. You will return to Earth as a mortal-and if you live out your days without sinning against me again, you will return here, as an angel once again."

Castiel cannot comprehend what is being said to him. Instead of punishment, this feels too much like a reward to him. He can return to his friends, his _family_, and try to make up for what he has done. Granted, he will be returning as a human, but that is something he can more than accept.

Before he can say anything, he's falling again. And this time, he embraces the sensation, spreads his arms wide and _laughs_, actually _laughs_, because his Father has absolved him in a way he could never have imagines, or expected. And perhaps he does not deserve this absolution, but he welcomes it. He...

_*thump!* _

Castiel's teeth rattle in his head as he hits soft earth, long grass, and he grins at this wonderful experience of _feeling_, before he lifts his head and his heart soars when he sees he's directly outside Bobby's place.

And the Impala is parked right outside.

Gingerly, he stands, dusting down the black suit he still wears. Jimmy Novak has gone to his eternal rest, and now, this body is all Castiel has left. And it's enough. _More_ than enough...

Castiel can hear incoherent but familiar muttering coming closer and closer to the front door after he has knocked, and then Dean flings it open. His eyes are bloodshot, his hair unkempt, and the former angel can tell from previous observation that the elder Winchester is nursing the mother of all hangovers.

But all that is of no import, as emotion floods Castiel. His friend, his _brother,_ is standing in front of him, someone he never thought he would see again.

"Hello, Dean." Same gravelly voice, same stoic greeting, but Castiel feels anything but stoic right now. Dean could slam the door in his face, and he would have every right to do so.

Dean blinks, and Castiel is sure that he believes this is some kind of alcohol-related hallucination, so he steps forward, tentatively touches Dean's shoulder. "It's me, Dean." He says softly. "Castiel."

"C-Cas?" Dean's voice is gruff, but there's no mistaking the emotion there; his eyes glitter with unshed tears. However, as Castiel moves closer, he is roughly pushed away, and Dean's expression flashes to one of anger. "You son of a bitch!" He continues to shove Castiel backwards, but Castiel makes no move to defend himself. He deserves this. He deserves worse than this.

"You stupid, selfish son of a _bitch_!" Dean snaps, green eyes full of fury and pain. "What the _Hell_ were you thinking? You child!"

"I'm sorry, Dean." Castiel knows the words aren't enough, not nearly enough. "I made a promise to redeem myself to you, and I intend to keep it. My Father has returned, he sent me here."

Dean stopped shoving Castiel abruptly, and frowned at him. "Hold on, Cas." He sounded suspicious. "Are you seriously gonna tell me that even though you practically made a deal with the Devil himself, walked around pretending to be dear ol' dad, and killed a bunch of people, almost got _us_ killed...you gonna tell me that God strapped your wings on and sent you back down here with his _blessing_? What kind of idiot do you think...?"

"I am no longer an angel, Dean." Castiel interrupts gently. "My father has restored me as a human, to atone for my misdeeds, as punishment. I only hope it's not too late."

This seems to take all the anger out of Dean; he visibly slumps. "Human." He murmurs. "So...you're just a regular Joe like us now?"

There was a time when such a phrase would have gone right over Castiel's head, but not anymore. He smiled. "Yes." He replied. "I must live out a mortal's existence here on Earth. If I walk a righteous path, or as righteous as possible, I may return to heaven, as an angel."

Dean is nodding. Then he looks Castiel right in the eye, and tells him, firmly but not too harshly, "You screwed up, Cas. Big time. You should have come to us, we'd have helped you. What you did...Crowley, Cas? Seriously? And then, you..."

Dean's voice cracks, but he does not cry. Dean Winchester, no matter how much he has suffered-and Castiel knows he has suffered a _lot_-does not do 'chick flick' moments. Not in front of other people, anyway.

"You _died,_ man!" He blurts out. "You freakin' _died_, and left us to clean up your mess. And I was so _angry_, so pissed, because...dammit, Cas, you were a _friend_. You were _family_. And..."

Dean trails off, and Castiel, tears now flowing down his cheeks, hesitantly steps forward, fully prepared to be shoved away again. Instead, Dean grabs his arm and yanks him forward, into the circle of his arms. It's a manly embrace; Dean pounds on Castiel's back until he's gasping for air.

"You _ever_ do somethin' that dumb again," Dean hisses in his ear, and now Castiel can swear he hears tears in his voice. "And I'll kill you myself. Are we clear?"

Castiel nods, words failing him, and then Dean pulls away, flinging a companionable arm around his shoulder. "C'mon." He says, and Castiel feels sure he is exactly where he is meant to be, among his family.

Dean leads him inside, adding, "So. Guess you'll be wantin' your coat back, huh?"...

_**(Ok, ok, this might be a little sappy, but...I want Cas to come home. Angel, human, I don't care which-SPN isn't the same without him. :( Reviews are my friends, so please R&R!)**___


End file.
